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The prospect of death can evoke a variety of thoughts and feelings among those who are dying and their loved ones. Our faith directs us towards a life that extends beyond death and encourages us to see the end of life as an opportunity for love. Hospital Chaplain Fr George, reflects on the gift of accompanying the dying in their last days.

“As Christians, we have the perfect model of how to cope with suffering in the example of the Lord Jesus. It is a model that can inspire those who are facing death as well as those who surround them on their last journey. In my experience as a hospital chaplain, I have come to appreciate that we are never alone on our Calvary: our way of the cross is populated with those who seek to help us share our burden. In the course of our lives, all of us will probably have the opportunity to help others as they climb towards the summit of their own Calvary, acting as a Veronica or a Simon of Cyrene.

“Even if I have only been a bystander on someone’s Calvary as chaplain, I have seen how the dying can so often grow as they struggle upwards, leading the way, and allowing family and friends to learn important lessons in compassionate love as they share in climbing the Calvary of someone for whom they care. I will just recount one story to illustrate this point.

“Francis had been admitted into the palliative care ward with a prison officer at the door of his room to keep everyone safe. It seemed that his life was in ruins. He had been serving time as a convicted drug dealer when he received the devastating news that he had terminal cancer and didn’t have long to live. Although he had been baptised a Catholic, I was warned by the hospital to avoid contact: as he was “very angry with God” and blamed God and the Catholic Church for everything that had gone wrong in his life.

“I used to make frequent visits to another patient called Liam in the neighbouring room to Francis. Every time I passed his room, I would see Francis sitting upright in bed, and would be met with an intense glare, his eyes full of angry hatred. Sometime later, I received a call from the hospital at about 3am. I was told that Liam was dying and was asked to go and say some prayers. I dragged myself out of bed and over to the hospital and spent some time at Liam’s bedside, saying the prayers of commendation. Liam died.

“As I left and passed Francis’s room, he shouted out to me “Priest! Has Liam died?”. And so I went into his room, and we began to talk. We talked about Liam and how peacefully he had died, and we talked about death and life after death. By the time dawn broke, Francis had been reconciled to the Church, and the next two weeks were beautiful.

“He made peace with the many people whom he had hurt in his family, he received all the Sacraments, and he had people praying around his bedside when the time came to follow Liam peacefully into the hands of the Lord. His last words to me were “Fr George, ask St Francis to pray for me,” and I did so, along with a prayer for Liam, whose own death had opened up for Francis the way towards eternal life. How wonderfully strange that out of the time Francis was given to live with the frightening prospect of death, he was given the capacity to find peace so that he could truly rest in peace.

“As a hospital chaplain, my role is especially to remind people that the Lord is always calling us from beyond Calvary: “Come you blessed of my Father…inherit the kingdom prepared for you”. In our modern culture, we often view life as disposable and assume that everything should be under our control and open to our choice – hence the promotion of assisted suicide. In fact, assisted suicide ultimately involves the denial of an opportunity to live our last days surrounded by compassion and love just as Francis did. It denies us the real dignity that comes from spiritual growth as our bodies diminish. Caring for people at the end of their lives is a beautiful vocation. It is a vocation lived out by hospital chaplains, doctors, nurses, social carers, family, friends, extraordinary ministers of the eucharist and members of parish groups, such as the SVP. Indeed, we all respond to our calling to care each week at Mass when we pray for the sick.

“Perhaps if we can renew our vocation to care for others at the end of life, it will help change our culture so that more people come to view the end of life differently and see it as a time for spiritual growth which can be filled with grace and love.”

Source: CBCEW

‍The Centre for the Art of Dying Well at St Mary's University, London aims to help people to live and die well and be supported in their grief. Being by the bedside of someone you love who is dying isn't easy. To help a little The Centre have drawn on the wisdom and experience of those who have done it before and have taken advice from leading palliative care consultants, nurses, chaplains, friends and relatives; you can find out more on their website here.

To find out about our diocesan Ministry of Consolation programme, please contact our Marriage and Family Life Project Officer Simon South here.